


Couldn't Be Kindness

by ElinorJane



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Parental Hera Syndulla, Post-Star Wars Rebels: Spark of Rebellion, Season/Series 01, poor ezra is a lonely kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:08:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28600461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElinorJane/pseuds/ElinorJane
Summary: Ezra’s not used to kindness, and he wonders why the Ghost crew bothered to take him in.  Besides the whole potential Jedi thing.  Takes place the evening of S1 episode “Spark of Rebellion”.
Relationships: platonic - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	Couldn't Be Kindness

Ezra couldn’t sleep. Partly because of Zeb’s snoring--a smelly, noisy roommate would take some getting used to. But partly because of the bunk itself. It was comfortable—not too hot or cold, and without the lonely rush of wind that often haunted his nights. Definitely better than the comm tower, only too new.  


That was it. Too new, too nice, too good to last. No way he could relax.

He climbed down quietly (no telling what Zeb would do if disturbed) and slipped into the hallway. The ship was quiet; most of the lights were dim as well. But he heard soft clicking and thumping from the cockpit, and after a moment’s hesitation, he slipped to the door and peeked inside. The pilot—Hera—was behind the controls, looking from a data pad to the dashboard and back, sometimes pressing a button or flipping a switch in the interim. Ezra peered into each corner of the cockpit, but the orange droid was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Kanan.

“You can come out if you like.”

Ezra jumped, hitting his elbow on the wall, and considered fleeing. But Hera hadn’t sounded mad, and now she looked over her shoulder at the door and tipped her head toward the interior of the room. He stumped inside, rubbing his elbow, and shuffling his feet as he approached the dashboard.

“Can’t sleep?” Hera asked. She still didn’t sound angry or even annoyed.

“Not really.”

She gave a sympathetic look and turned back to her maintenance work. “Well, since Kanan isn't here, you can keep me company."

Ezra climbed into the copilot chair and looked out the front window. The Ghost was parked in a grassy plain, one with conical rocks on the horizon. The sky glowed with stars. He gazed up and pretended he was piloting the ship, dodging Imperial TIEs and Star Destroyers before leaping into hyperspace. That had been amazing. He metaphorically returned to earth and asked, "Where is Kanan?"

"Turned in for the night," Hera replied. "It's been a long day."

"Yeah..." Ezra looked back at the stars. A day so long that the quiet, windy start to the morning seemed to be from another lifetime. Everything was so very new. For starters, he’d never made anyone proud. Kanan had definitely seemed proud—at least pleased—when they reunited the Wookie father and son.

Ezra frowned and pulled his feet on the seat, hugging his knees. Was there a chance of earning Kanan’s respect? Probably not—not as a rat from the streets, doing whatever it took to survive. Kanan was brave, confident, daring, but successful. And kind. He hadn’t been too mad when he found Ezra playing with the laser sword or when Ezra stole it and the holocron. Anyone else would have yelled at him and kicked him off the ship at the very least. And the rest of the crew…they were the only ones to come back for him. With sudden, sharp clarity, he realized he didn’t belong here.

“Ezra?” Hera’s voice was soft. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” he muttered.

Hera paused, and Ezra could feel her watching him. “If you don’t want to talk, you don’t have to. But I can’t fix the problem if I don’t know what it is.”

Yeah, this problem couldn’t be fixed. Talking would wreck everything, would reveal the truth and bring on the consequences. Though in that case, better sooner than later. He sighed. “It’s just that…I’m everything you’re not. I steal to survive, and you guys give to others. I look out for myself, and—and you all risk your lives for people you don’t even know. I hate the Empire, but you actually do something about it, stand up and fight them.” I’m alone; and you guys have each other. “Kanan thinks I can be a Jedi, but if he didn’t…” Ezra shrugged briefly.

“If he didn’t?” Hera asked.

Ezra frowned harder and hunched over his knees.

“If he and I didn’t,” Hera said firmly, “we would still welcome you to the crew. Every one of us has a past we’d like to forget. Each of us was alone once, and each of us has made mistakes. From that position, none of us can or will judge you.”

Ezra finally looked up as Hera continued, “What matters now is what you do with this new chance.”

“Yeah, but…why me?”

“Well, the fact that you interrupted our op did set the events in motion,” Hera said with a smile, and Ezra smirked in spite of himself. “You got in the way today, but you’re not spiteful or malicious. In any case, you’re a kid in need of a home, and that’s reason enough.” She paused and added, “And there’s a lot more to you than meets the eye.”

“Yeah,” Ezra muttered, idly kicking the dashboard, “including mine, apparently.”

“I’m not joking.” Hera swiveled her chair so that she faced him. “It didn’t take much to persuade you to go warn my crew. You gave us the intel we needed to rescue the Wookies, you joined that mission, you rescued Kitwarr on your own initiative. And you accepted the chance to return to us. You’re braver than you know and more caring than you let on. Anyone who cares to look can see it.”

Ezra couldn’t bring himself to look at her. “Does…does Kanan see those things? In me, I mean.”

“I think you remind him of his younger self,” Hera said. Ezra sat bolt upright, accidentally pivoting his chair to face hers. Hera chuckled. “Oh, no question there: creative, determined, reckless…with that sassy attitude.” She leaned forward, looking him full in the face. “But he also sees someone who needs a second chance. He won’t change his mind about that, and he won’t go back on his choice to give you one.”

Ezra studied her with a frown. There was no platitude or patronizing in her expression; still no anger or annoyance. It was…confusing. “Yeah, sure,” he muttered.

“I’m still not joking,” Hera said gently. “Kanan gave a second chance to the people who are now my crew. He knew they needed that second chance, no matter what they’d done or what they deserved.” She gave a soft smile. “You’re no different, Ezra. No matter what others say or believe about you—no matter what you believe about yourself—here, you’ll have that second chance. You just have to accept it and use it.”

Ezra gave a faint smile and hugged his knees again. “Seems too good to be true.”

I promise it’s not,” Hera said firmly. She bent over her dashboard again, leaving Ezra with his thoughts. One more doubt nagged his mind, and he wondered if it was worth it to ask…and maybe he didn’t want the truth. But Hera still wasn’t mad at him, and he suddenly believed that she would listen to the question. “Have…have you ever kicked anyone off your ship?”

Hera chuckled. “Only Kanan, and only twice.” Ezra turned and stared in disbelief; Hera laughed again and shook her head. “He was a handful, believe me, back in the day, and I was…well, I was pretty quick-tempered. We were quite the pair.” She paused and smiled to herself. “But he came back each time. He was finally willing to believe in something bigger than himself. And I knew…there was so much more he could be. So much more he can be, still,” she added softly.

Ezra leaned back in his seat and looked up at the stars. Everything was still too new…but maybe he would get used to it soon. He felt a little afraid, but more excited than afraid. Also content. And sleepy—he realized suddenly, and he shut his eyes.

When he opened them again, he found himself tucked under a blue blanket, with a small pillow wedged between his head and the seat. He felt warmer than he’d been in a long time.


End file.
